And we can't waste no time, living life this way

Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I should have gone to grad school instead of getting a job. I just feel so lonely and so left out. I can't not go out. Especially when I want to go out and not stay in. I just can't lose having a social life. Because I finally have one. That's the only way I'm around people my age. The only way I can meet people. The only way I may ever finally find a guy who wants to date me. For real. The weekends are the only days that I can really let loose. Where I can sleep in and not worry about any responsibilities the next day. I'll end up going out next week, but it'll be different. I'll have to worry about the time and about how much I'm drinking. I guess the only good thing about my not going out tonight is that I save myself all those calories. And I can use all the help I can get right now, especially since all that drinking and my messed up schedule because of work have caught up with me. And I'm feeling really insecure about it. I think Ania's mad at me. Why she would be, I have absolutely no clue. But she won't answer her phone, when I know she doesn't have anything going on, and she won't call me back. It sucks. It really, really sucks. And so does my weekend.