Now it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you

So it's back to the usual tomorrow. Not that since I've gotten back from Orlando things have been unusual. Spring break was well....fun Friday through Tuesday...then sad and fairly boring the rest of the time. Nothing ever goes as planned. Or wished, for that matter. I have 1 1/2 months left. And that's it. Things are really about to pick up, starting with this week. And I'm not just talking activities-wise, but school-wise as well. Time to start putting some time into some school things I have to take care of (one FINAL paper, a dance routine, a test). Blah. But then there's the activities...some planned, some yet to be realized. I am really nervous. I have a bad feeling about things. I feel like these last few weeks are going to take so much effort, and will end up being like how everything's been. I just want to enjoy what time I have left in college, but I don't think that's going to happen. I have no friends who want to do the things I want to do still (i.e. going out and drinking and meeting guys). That's all I want to do right now. I don't care how shallow it sounds, but when else am I ever going to get to do this again??? NEVER. I see my weekend already: sitting at home, depressed, because I can't find anyone to go out with. I don't want that to be the case, but I can't help thinking about it. St. Patrick's Day is Friday. And I remember last year how I wanted to do something, but didn't because I had no one. It's funny how far I've come, yet I remain in the same position as I was in at this exact point in time last year. Ready to have lots of fun and going out, but lacking friends to do things with. I just don't want to miss anymore opportunities. I don't want to miss out on anything. I don't want to regret not having done something that I wanted to do. But it's not going to be easy, because I know the odds are against me and are going to fight me every step of the way.