Yo, excuse me miss...

So tonight I might have gone on the last walk I will ever go on with Lucy. It could also be the last time I see her alive. Mom says she only has a couple of days left. I don't know why she thinks that--I didn't ask for her to explain. I just accepted it. Well, not really. I guess she's been acting a little strange the past few days, like not wanting to come home from her walk, and she stayed outside practically all day today (but I was out in the sun, and the cats were outside, too so that may have been a big factor). And she was extremely eager to go on a walk tonight. I haven't seen her so excited to go on one in a very long time--and it was all her, Mom didn't really want to take her on one, but of course we couldn't disappoint her. It just doesn't seem real. I guess I've pretty much put it in the back of my head to deal with it. Like, I know she's dying, and it could happen anytime, but she's still fine. Maybe I'm in denial a little bit. But it's too weird now with Mom saying she only has a few days left. Why is that the case? Her legs have been bothering her a little more, but she's still ok. She's not hurting, but I think she's starting to sense that something's not right with her. Mom said to say goodbye to her today when I left as if it were really goodbye. I tried, but I didn't want to cry or get upset. I don't know if it was good enough. I just made it a normal, but slightly longer bye than usual. I've been doing that anyways, but....it's getting too hard for me to write about this. I don't have a good feeling about this week right now. Everytime my mom calls me, I just hope, I just hope it's not to say she's gone. Not yet. Please.