I sit alone, in a dark theater

It's weird. I've been really weird lately. Just how I'm feeling. Which I can't really describe. Or explain. It's not like any significant event has happened that would have made me feel sad or incredibly happy. Not that I am either. I'm neither. But I'm not content. I'm not depressed. I just kinda....am. Just moving along, day by day. Nothing really exciting happening. I mean, everything is going fine. Maybe that's the problem. Everything is just fine. I mean, I did let myself get used again, by ANOTHER guy. Yeah, I'm an idiot. But I'm done with all that crap. I know what I want, and I'm not going to settle until I get it. If that means I have to use some self-control (maybe a lot of it), well, I'll try my best. It's not worth it anymore. I don't like feeling like this. Like how? I don't even know. It's just the strangest feeling. A feeling of whatever. Like I care, but then again, I really don't. I feel like I'm just here. Nowhere special. Just around, just existing for the sake of existing. That's a way to live. My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. And so is Halloween. Both things to look forward to. If I don't get extremely stressed or upset about them beforehand. I just want to have some feeling. I don't want to cry, but I don't particularly feel like smiling. Maybe it's just a funk I'm going through right now. Hopefully it'll end soon...