It's just another manic monday...I wish it were sunday...

When did I become so insecure about my body? I don't know, but I'm more insure about it than I have ever been I feel, or at least in a long, long time. Why do I feel this way? There's nothing wrong with the way I look. But if it wasn't for that stupid mono that screwed everything up, I don't think I'd be feeling this way. I hate it so much. I just want to get back to normal. I have a major midterm on Wednesday. All essay. It's really going to suck, but the studying for it is even worse. I hate studying so much. But I don't have to make an A--what he's looking for is an impossibly high standard for only 50 minutes, having to write 3 short answers plus a full-length essay. Whatever. I'll just put down whatever I know, and if it isn't good enough for him, well too bad. Because I don't really care. They're just grades, and this is my last year. What good are grades going to matter out in the real world? I don't plan on going to grad school any time soon--I just can't handle any more school. I need to get out in the world and get some experience working. Not yet, though. But after this year. That's why I'm trying to make this a fun year, since I wasted the past 2 1/2 being miserable...