You've built a love, but that love falls apart

When will I ever not be sick?? I have not been well since June. Having mono really did a number on my immune system, because I keep catching every cold/infection known to man. Seriously, there has not been a time at all this semester where I was well. And this week has been no different. I hate it so much. And to top it off, I found another guy who doesn't want to be my boyfriend or have anything to do with me. It seemed really promising; except now I realize that it's not going to go any further. It was so different this time. I actually haven't done anything but makeout with this guy. Which I'm so proud of, because it's a huge change from before, where I'd jump in way too soon. It's just so disappointing. How can it not have something to do with me??? It happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. This guy wasn't exactly a Skip or Chris or Adam...so far from it. He was actually the type of guy that I used to always go for. Not the one I had to prove to myself that I could get. When we went out, things were soooo good. Ania painted his wall at his place on Monday...couldn't really tell anything from him. But then last night, when we went back to work on it, I just did not feel a vibe at all. I don't know if it's because he had his friends around, or what. Ania at first was like, he's so cute, but then she started having reservations, like he doesn't call. He called me once. On my birthday Saturday to wish me happy birthday because I must have mentioned it a million types when I met him on Wednesday. We ended up going to a party and I stayed over at his place and just falling asleep in his arms was so amazing. I haven't called him; I have text messaged him to say hi, and wrote a little message on his facebook wall, but that's it. It's not like any of the other guys ever actually called me. I was the one always calling them. I don't know. Something tells me to just give up, not to bother or worry about it. But when is it going to happen??? I'm so sick of it. Where the hell are you supposed to find them? I know there are guys that will become involved with a girl when they find someone they like; it just so happens that I'm the one they will never like. It doesn't help that I HATE my body right now. Being sick has done a number to my body image and self esteem. I don't want to feel depressed and sad. I just want to get better. NOW.