I live for the tears to fall down your face

So Ania's really pissing me off right now. She disappears on me yesterday, probably not doing things she needed to do and was off doing something else with other people. And I still haven't heard from her today. Shows how much she really wants to see me again. Whatever. Tomorrow I start my internship. I'm a little nervous. I'm just trying to figure out when I'm going to get important things to me done, like working out and eating (will I have a lunch break? otherwise I'll starve. I can't go 5 hours without a little snack at the minimum!). Mondays won't be so hard to figure out. Tuesdays I'll be gone ALL day. That's definitely going to be a huge change for me. I'm used to coming back home after class and doing nothing for the rest of the day except maybe a little homework. And not to mention taking naps. Well, at least I have a 3 day weekend, because I'm not working on Fridays. I'll make do. It will probably actually be better for me this way. I NEED to get away from this house more than I do. I just feel bad for Chloe, because she's going to be so sad I won't be home as much. And I bet I'll be pretty darn tired and grumpy when I get home one Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then there's the dilemma about going out on Tuesdays, and Wednesdays when socials start. Obviously, I don't go out every Tuesday. But that's a really good day to go out, and I will not want to pass up the opportunities that I get to go out on those nights. But I know I'll pay for it the next day. Guess I'll just have to watch how much I drink so I won't be hung over. Just tired instead of both. I also will be attending my first dinner at the sorority EVER, since I never went last fall when I transfered. Ok, so Ania's off my bad list right now. She just called and apologized for not calling or getting back to me yesterday. I feel a little better about that now. Anyways, about dinner...Right now I'm not really that nervous, but I know when it comes time to walk into the house, I will be a nervous wreck. But it's something I've gotta do. My dad's going to be paying $2000 (yes, a RIDICULOUS amount of money) for me to go active again this semester, and I'm going to go all out with it. I'm putting myself out there. I have to. Not just for the sorority, but for my internship, as well as just the general benefit of growing. I can see myself really changing this semester, becoming more outgoing, for one thing. I'll have to be, especially with the 2 situations I'm in. I've got to prove myself in the workplace, and make friends in the sorority. I actually WANT to do this. I'm excited. At least I think I am. No, I know I am. I have so much potential right in front of me, and for once, I'm not going to sit around and do nothing with it. I'm going to continue to become the person I want to be. And I've got to put myself out there, even if it is completely cold turkey, to do it. So here goes...