I can't stand to think about a heart so big it hurts like hell

Today has been...well, not much of anything. I'm still working at my internship (my last day is Thursday), and what I'm mainly doing is sitting up at the Capitol outside the House watching bills. More like sitting there, bored to death. It gives me too much time to think. Really about nothing. Except a certain boy. Who nothing will change with. I wanted it to, thought for a second that it might. But I know in my heart that it won't. Why? Because they're all the same. I just don't think I can trust any guy anymore. Nothing that they say is true. Or at least, it's some distortion of the truth. Maybe they are speaking the truth and I just don't want to see it. No, it's mainly lies that they tell, empty promises that are easily forgotten or broken. I'm not the least bit bitter, lol. But seriously, he just needs to stop. Stop pretending to care about me. Stop acting like he wants to be at the minimum friends when he doesn't even really want that, except when we end up running into each other or I'm over at his apartment with Ania to be there with his other roommates. The funny thing is, I'm not exactly sure that I like him. I mean, I do to some extent, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be feeling this way. I'm just sick of all the stupid games that guys play. That I have to play along with so I don't appear too eager or come on too strong or want anything more than what things currently are. I'm still not really wanting to be in a relationship. But I want a guy to stick around for a little bit. To want to get to know me. Because I've been here many, many times before now. Sometimes I wonder if it's just me that they don't want to get to know. Obviously. But I know that's not it, everyone says that's not it. But maybe I'm just one of those people that will go from guy to guy from one failed dating attempt to another. I don't know why I was chosen for this to happen to. I was upset before I started writing tonight. I don't know why I'm making myself feel bad right now. So I'm just going to go and stop now while I'm ok.