It's all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes back down

It's been on my mind for a while. At first, it was just a thought, something I needed to think about, far away in the back of my mind. But every day it's creeped closer and closer to the forefront. And finally, it's all I can think about. And it's driving me insane. No, it's not a boy. It's my future. What I want to do with the rest of my life. Actually, it's more like what do I want to do this summer? What should I do? What do I want to accomplish? And where do I go from there? So many questions, so few answers. I honestly don't know what I want to do. Well, that's not true. I have a slim idea. I want to do something with politics. But do I really? That's what I think I want to do, but that's where I really don't know. I guess, though, that this is the time to find out. To try to find a job or something that will help me figure out if this is really what I want to do. I know that I'm not the only one in this position--so many people don't know what they are going to do. But I just graduated, and I feel like I should have some sort of plan, some type of road map that will lead me. However, I do not. It's up to me to make one for myself--the difficult part. I was about to freak out today when I got home, after spending an hour at the pharmacy waiting on a prescription, on top of doing nothing but sitting and bill watching, and a stupid guy, I got so frustrated. I need to do something. I can't not do something this summer. No more wasted summers as in the past literally 8 years. I need to make some money--I have the pressure from my dad to at least do that. Although, he fully supports me in my search to find out what I want to do-- I just need to have a paying job along the way. And I understand. But I just don't want any old waitressing job or something like that--I want something worthwhile, that will help me gain more experience. AHHHHHHHHHHH! I just want to scream. I am so confused. I feel like I have to make a decision right now. Because time's wasting. I need to get out a town for a few days. I need a mini-vacation. What I really want to do it go to New York. And Italy. And move to Washington, which I know will happen, because I'm going to make it and besides, my parents have already told everyone that's where I'm going. No pressure, right??!!