What goes around comes around

In another crappy mood so far today. Guess I wasn't able to shake off yesterday's down-in-the-dumps mood. Hopefully I'll feel better later. I know that hearing from a certain someone will put a smile on my face (that is, if he doesn't give me bad news). I didn't talk to him yesterday. Which is ok, because it's better that we don't talk every single day at this point. That could make him think things are getting way too serious and he'd run away like every other guy. But still, I would have liked to. But I refrained from calling or messaging him. I did send him a little good morning message today, though. Just to say hi and see what he was up to this evening and if he wanted to hang out (code word for makeout, haha). The whole spring weekend thing is still stressing me out a little bit, because it's all up in the air for me. Ania never called me back, even after I tried to get in touch with her. I just hope she wasn't avoiding my call because there was bad news. Why can't I just think on the positive side? I want this day to be over before it even begins. Not necessarily because of not going to work tomorrow (well, partly), but because I just don't want to be here at work right now. All I can think of is how I'm going to get through the day--9 fucking hours doing stuff I don't want to be doing. Or nothing at all. Just feeling blah and so fucking insecure. I hate it so much. I wish I could believe in myself more. It comes and goes. Right now, it's gone.