Don't waste this chance with your smile

I feel like I've been eating so much lately. Not of anything bad at all, but I feel like I'm hungry a lot. No, actually it's just because I want to eat these two new cereals I have, lol. Things still just keep running through my head like crazy; it just won't stop! I tried to take a nap earlier when I was feeling really tired, but couldn't fall asleep because I can't clear my head! Everytime I think of something good that I could write about, I just say, I'll write about that later. But now I can't remember anything! Random want: to go on an actual date. The last time I went on a real date was my date with Adam. Oh, actually, no that's not true. I did go on a date with Andrew last spring, but that fizzled. I guess I did go on one date with Chris, but I paid for everything, and he had 5 freaking beers at my country club where I took him to eat! And then he made me pay for his ticket at the movies because he didn't bring any money. What a loser!! What in the world was I thinking with him??? I ask myself that ALL the time, because I really don't know. And to think he was my first...but really, I forget that he was and would rather not remember any of it. It's sooo weird how I feel about him is completely different from all the other guys. Maybe it's because I never really liked him in the first place, and it was more like I was bombarded into this "relationship" without really wanting to. How easily do I not think of him. But with others, I can't get them out of my head. Skip has faded a lot, too. But not totally. I still think about him and those nights. I really am glad, even though things turned out the way they did, that I got that experience with him. I saw what I could be...my passionate side really came out in a way I never thought that I could ever be. Actually, it wasn't how I thought I could be, but how I never saw myself as being that way because I'd always detatch myself and feel that I'd always be trapped inside myself...kinda difficult to explain. But then again, the pain that I experienced...but no, it was worth it. You can't go through life avoiding love and passion for fear of heartbreak. Nope, you sure can't. I know I can't.