You'll look back and won't believe that girl was me

Wow...I just went back and looked at my first entry on here. I haven't looked at that in forever, and it was so weird. I read a few of the other early ones, and it's amazing how far I've come along since then. I realize I still pretty much have the same emotions (plenty of heartbreak), but I was just so sad. So sad about the whole Adam situation. He really affected me in a major way. Not necessarily in a bad way, either. I think he did a lot of good in the guise of a heartbreaker. I learned so much from that experience. Not that it's helped much to date, but I've grown so much stronger and wiser. Now, I know better. Even when I continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, I at least know what I'm getting myself into. Oh, so I see that the jerk has logged on to myspace and didn't add me as his friend yet. What a loser. Yes, this is stalkerish behavior, I admit it. Why am I going back to him? I mean, not like he wants me back, or that I WANT him back. But that I'm starting to be obsessed with him like this?? Ok, so it probably has never really stopped...but since he's been on facebook, and now myspace, it's a little hard to not want to keep track of him. Hey, I know he does the same (there's proof from the occasional comments and that booty call at the beginning of October). But this is not good, not good at all. Because who's the first page I check besides my own? His. I'm soooo pathetic. I know I'm not the only one, because Ania does it too! We should start a club...girls who can't get over one specific guy, even though he is a complete jerk and we should not want anything to do with them ever again...except maybe a little one night stand, which will put us back where we were in the first place: MISERABLE. Yeah, that'd be the longest club title ever. I've completely lost track from where I started, and I'm not even gonna try and get back there tonight. More time to waste on myspace and various other turn-girls-into-psycho stalkers-sites. And I just learned that I have 3 subscribers to my blog on myspace! How cool is that...I didn't know anyone subscribed. Not that I write like this on there (whoa, that'd be revealing way too much to people who I wouldn't want to know was reading my stuff!).