Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying

Last night=miserable and depressed. Today=still feeling sad. Tonight=another night all alone at home. And the rest of the break will be the same. Last night Ania and I were supposed to go out and celebrate finals being over and have our last night out of the semester before she went home. But she calls me and tells me that afternoon that she's not going to go out because she doesn't have any money. I understand that. But I'd pay for her. I already had the liquor to drink beforehand, and it's nothing she would have to pay for. I understand that she was extremely tired because she hasn't slept all week. But that's not my fault. I'm not the one who waited until the last minute to study. She was supposed to call me later yesterday evening and we'd hangout. She never calls. I call her. She doesn't pick up. I'm absolutely soooo sad and crying. I have no one else to call to see who's going out. I'm sick of having to be the one to invite people to do things. They apparently don't ever think of me or want to hang out with me, or else they'd call me and invite me to do something once in awhile. I put in all the effort. For what? For nothing. I always end up feeling like the third wheel, anyways. Like I don't belong. Like I'm just tagging along and not really apart of everything. And it sucks. It sucks not having other friends to go out with. Last night I refused to call anyone. Tonight I succumbed to a few. But to no avail. I'm so desperate I put up an away message asking for people to call me if they wanted to go out. Obviously that didn't work. So I'm stuck at home once again. I guess I could ask my sister if she wanted to go see a movie. But there's nothing I want to waste $7 bucks on. I'd rather spend that on alcohol. Shows you where my priorities are. Maybe it'll be alright that I don't go out. It doesn't seem like people are going to be going out. Everyone's gone home, too. Or have they? Of course they probably haven't tonight, the one night that they're still here I won't be going out. I'm kinda losing the mood to go out now, anyways. It's just not worth the effort of finding someone to go out with. And I'm already on and off tearing up about it. I don't think I'd be in a good mood, or able to get in a good mood. It shouldn't be this hard. I wish I wasn't so alone.