Saturday, May 21, 2005
I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy...
I just got really freaked out a second ago...it seriously felt like someone had touched me, but there's no one around. I swear it felt so real, and it made me jump and scared the heck out of me. Maybe it's a ghost! Haha...Anyways, so much has happened within this past week. It's so crazy...I have a boyfriend now. Yeah, I can't believe it either. Things just went from 0 to 60 in no time flat. Things started off fast, and haven't slowed down, except for a little after I started questioning my feelings. I think it was because I was getting scared we were moving so fast. And I think the actual possibility of having a relationship was scaring me, too. It's what I've wanted for so long, yet, with it right in front of me, I wasn't sure about it. The possibility of the unknown...what could happen in the future. It got to me. But this boy is SO ABSOLUTLEY CRAZY about me! And he tells me ALL the time. He does everything right: he calls me!!! And that is huge in my book! Oh, yeah, and did I mention it's the guy that invited me to his party from myspace?!! I went with a couple of friends, met Chris in person, thought he was so cute, the party got busted by the cops, went to another party, called him to see what had happened, and ended up back at his place....and I've been with him every night since then. I'm still not totally sure about my feelings for him. I know I definitely like him. But, I need to take time to really see how much I feel for him. Again, things moved so fast, I got really confused. But I like him a lot. I'm just taking things day by day, because, as I told him, I can't guarantee the future at this point. It's too early, and I'm not totally sure how I feel. He's really afraid of getting hurt. Which is kind of ironic, since I am too, but it's he who is more worried about it than I am. But what I do know is that I'm having a lot of fun and it's so wonderful to have someone who cares about you and wants to spend time with you and to kiss you and hold you in their arms...it's what I've been waiting for. And apparently, it was long enough!!! hahaha (those who know will get it).
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