And I don't want to fall to pieces...I just want to sit and stare at you

When I didn't feel like getting up this morning, I knew it wouldn't be a good day. And I was right. It was another day drained of energy. I slept for most of the day and have mainly been in been watching tv and reading some. I thought I was getting better. I guess I was rushing things and was pushing it. Gotta still take it easy obviously. I missed going to dinner with Meghan and Vanessa tonight because of it. I wanted to go, and hoped earlier in the day that by resting I'd feel better, but I still feel weak and too tired to go out. I haven't seen Vanessa forever and I really wanted the three of us to hang out. But we'll have to do it some other time. I want to have a little party. Not really a party, but have a few people over and drink. And get drunk. I think it would be fun. I've wanted to do something like that for a while, but never have. Maybe I will soon. Just got to get some people (and of course some boys!), and there we have it. I shouldn't be drinking probably, still being sick and all...well, recovering at least...but I hate being stuck at home all the time. I just want to have some fun. I think I'll be fine if I limit myself to once or twice a week...definitely once a week. I keep reminding myself that there'll be plenty of time for all that this fall, but still...it's summer and it sucks being sick. I hopefully will be feeling better tomorrow. I should...I think I just needed a day to rest. Saturday night probably wore me out a lot. I was thinking about something earlier that I wanted to write about, but now I can't remember...