It's the way that he makes you fall in love

So I succumbed to my own pressure. I didn't call him, however; I sent him a text message. Not that that's much better, but hey, at least I didn't call him! I didn't have to risk the humiliation of hearing him turn me down, or having to leave a stupid voicemail message begging him to call me back. So I did it in words, instead. I just said that I was bored and he was still welcome to come over if he wanted. It won't happen, of course. I just made myself look like a desperate idiot once again. But I had to try. I just had to do it. Because you never know...actually, I do know, I just don't want to admit it or accept it as true. It's easier to be naive and play the victim than it is to actually own up to something you don't want to face. But the thing is, it's not like with Adam, where I KNEW that he didn't want anything to do with me. Or is it?? I KNOW he doesn't want a girlfriend, at least that's what he told me once, but yet, we keep seeing each other. He was, after all, the one who called me the other night. Who am I kidding?? I'm trying desperately to create something out of nothing. At least, I don't want to believe what we have is nothing. NO MORE. This was the last time I contact him. If he wants anything to do with me, he can call me himself. PERIOD. NO IFS, ANDS, or BUTS. I'M THROUGH. WHY DO I LET HIM TREAT ME THIS WAY??? WHY DO I LET GUYS IN GENERAL TREAT ME THIS WAY???

SunZip: so, i never got the chance to tell you that i saw skip on friday night, after i dropped you off...i came home, went to bed, and he called me around 2:30, and i went over to his place to hang out with him...
Mere317: uh huh.....
Mere317: he conviently called you, and you convientely went over there.....
SunZip: well, he was like, i see that you're sleeping, so i'm gonna go, but i was like, what'd ya have in mind....i know, i know...i really wanted to see him!!!
Mere317: mallory..... why do you let him do this to you??? your so much better than him.....
Mere317: he was jerky to you at AJ's for the most part and then you go over to his house....
SunZip: i know, i seriously know....i don't know why i get so attached to these guys...believe me, all my friends say the same thing! i hear, but i can't bring myself to listen
Mere317: yeah, i know......
Mere317: we'll work on this together b/c this is definitley something i struggle with too, i just don't have a guy at the moment, so therefore, it's not a current struggle
SunZip: i'm trying....and now, i want him even more because my friend ania has a new boyfriend, and i guess i'm feeling a tad jealous (very happy for her, but you wish it were you, too)
SunZip: yeah we're 2 of millions of girls with the same problem!
Mere317: yeah i know, i know the feeling..... but that's why you gotta find some friends that don't have boyfriends or even potential guys at the moment.... hey i'm here for ya!!! b/c i don't have a guy in my life!!