So lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody...

I could not feel anymore alone than I do at this moment. Or actually, all evening. Ania's ditched me. She won't respond to my IMs (she still doesn't have a phone). We were supposed to go out tonight, but when I asked her if we were still going to, she never answered back. Things were going so well. I had friends. I had a social life. Now I'm having to do all this searching just to find someone who wants to go out, let alone hang out with me. This weekend was supposed to be so much fun. There's so much that I wanted to participate in with the game and everything, but I have no one to do anything with. I do all the work. It's always me calling. It's always me asking if they want to do something. And I'm always at their mercy, with yeah, I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, I'll give you a call later. And that call never comes. I'm not just talking about guys, either. I've lost my best friend to a bunch of stupid sorority girls. Did I make a mistake by not going back? But I can't afford it, I what's to say anything would be different? They never reached out to me the first time, so why would they now, especially? I'm really only talking about certain people here, not my good friends that I've had forever, who are always there when I need them. But everyone else, who I thought were my friends. With Blake, he's a guy, and he's got a girlfriend, so I understand, and I don't really have too much a problem with him. I'm trying to befriend his girlfriend, Anna. She's really cool and I like hanging out with her. Hopefully we can become good friends. I just don't know how I'm gonna make new friends. I need to get involved with something. But what? That's the problem. I wish more than anything that my sister would go out with me. All 3 of us siblings are in the same boat. My brother's so-called friends have abandoned him, too. And my mom is really upset and blaming herself, wondering if she did something wrong along the way of raising us, which is not true at all. This is my last year of college. It's supposed to be so much fun. I love going out, but it's so ironic that now that I like to do this and actually want to, I can't find anyone to go out with me anymore. I just have so many things I want to do socially this year--not just this weekend. I don't want to be sitting at home all day, alone, by myself, not doing anything, while everyone else is out having fun doing various activities. This weekend primarily means stuff having to do with the football game. And I won't be a part of it on account that I don't have any friends. Like an idiot, I called Skip...he actually answered...he was out at the downtown getdown drinking and having fun...I was really jealous, because I kinda wanted to go to that. He had previously gone to happy hour at Potbelly's, another thing that I wish someone would have invited me to go to, or I would invite to go to if I had someone. I'm just so alone, so, so alone. I'm not supposed to feel this way anymore. Things were so good. I was actually happy. But I haven't been lately. I'm scared I'm starting to fall again....