Well it's all so overrated, in not saying how you feel

I am not one of those girls: those generic, processed, fake girls that all look alike. Nor do I, or have I ever wanted to be one of those girls. I've just been noticing it so much lately, and I've just been very aware of it. I look at the girls in my classes and as I pass by them on campus and elsewhere...they're all the same. Overly and unnaturally tan, obviously-hightlighted blond hair, makeup plastered on their faces, the Louis Vuitton/Coach/Dooney and Burke purses, the $200+ Seven or other designer jeans...the list could go on and on...let me add that now it's the pants--those stretchy, flowy material crop pants everyone and their mother is wearing these days...not to mention the Polo shirts, the Oxford shirts, the I-dress-like-I'm-40-years-old clothes (I guess you can separate them into two classes), and the freaking deck shoes?? What's up with those? Can you tell I'm just a little annoyed? Am I being judgmental? Stereotypical? You bet I am. And I don't really care. Of course there are exceptions. But I'm not focusing on them right now. I'm not jealous, that's not the point of this rant. It's just I'm SO SICK of it!!! I feel like I've definitely been moving in a more individualistic trend lately. And I pride myself for not conforming. Granted, I'm not too far off in some ways, but I definitely do not classify myself as one of these girls. Tan? Not even close, nor do I want to be. Being tan is not everything, and it's definitely not healthy. I'll laugh when they get wrinkles by the time they're 30. I've never given in to buying any designer handbags or jeans. I WILL NOT, I repeat, I WILL NEVER spend over $150 on a bag or on one pair of jeans!! It's ridiculous. I'd rather have a variety and more bags and purses for that amount of money. I'm not cheap, either...I just do not see the point in wasting that much money on something that will be out of style next week! And don't even get me started on the polos, etc...you wonder why I don't feel like I fit in here??? I've never seen more people dress like that until I transfered to FSU. Seriously, the same people in high school never dressed like that. Conformity. They had to conform. It's true that if you put me in a room full of these girls, I will feel incredibly insecure. And that's not their fault--I'm not blaming them for anything. I think I am a very pretty girl (and I am!), but I have issues with the way I think other people perceive me. I've improved greatly, but if it especially involves guys, I will most likely end up crying at some point or another, because I feel like I could never be adequate enough. Never pretty enough to compare. I wouldn't be the one guys would notice, or even look at for that matter. It's one of my biggest fears, and why I've avoided situations like that for so long in the past. I'm not even talking about anyone specific. Just the general mold of this type of girl. You know her. I know her. You see her type all the time. She's the one everyone wants to be like, yet I reject her with a vengence right now. The one thing I want that she has? It's not the clothes or the material things. It's the confidence. The ability to captivate people. Which I lack, and have always struggled with. She's the one on the inside. I'm outside looking in. I'm clingy. I am. It's because I don't know people. I don't have other friends to go over and say hi to and hang out with when I go out. So I stay close by to who I'm with. Like a shadow at times. It's the worst with guys. Skip said I was clingy. He told me that one night, the last night that I saw him. And the worst part is that it's completely true. If they go somewhere and leave me, I'm left all alone, just standing there like an idiot, no one to talk to or no one to see. Why is it so hard to make friends? And where am I supposed to make new friends? There's something holding me back. I have so much potential, as everyone tells me. And I know that I do. But something inhibits me from utlilizng any of it. I want to do things. I want to be involved. But just when I think I can, I stall. I'm standing on the edge, and I can't jump. I need a little nudge, actually a shove, to get me moving. But I don't know what to do. What is it that makes me so hesitant, so afraid? I can't let it keep ruining my life. Otherwise I'll never go anywhere or amount to anything.