And though my heart can't take no more I keep on running back to you

I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!! WHY DID I DO THIS??? I knew it would be this way. I had no doubts. But I wanted to believe he had changed. That things would be different this time. I feel so used. What does a guy want at 2:30 in the morning? Hmmm....I wonder...but he had just gotten into town that night and wanted to see me and he called me like he promised and I really wanted to see him. I have no one to blame but MYSELF. There is no one I blame but myself. I saw this exact situation happening in my head. Yet, I went running back to him. AGAIN. Like a complete fool. He got what he came for, and apparently, that's that. Because he's done nothing so far to make me think otherwise. It was one of those things where I'd never learn my lesson until I did something stupid like this. So I could finally realize what a jerk he is. Maybe now I will truly be able to get over him. If I don't hear from him again while he's in town this weekend--NO MORE. EVER. I'M DONE. I'M THROUGH. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. My stupidity baffles me. To think that I would do something as dumb and idiotic as this for a guy. FOR A GUY. Who could care less about me--except when he wants something. It's always on his terms. WHAT HE WANTS. Well, WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT????? Why doesn't that matter? Hello, it works both ways! And it's all my fault because I fall for it--I go back to him like a love-sick puppy EVERYTIME. It's so sad. There's something about him that keeps pulling me back to him. It's like he's got some spell cast over me, and I can't seem to break free. Well, I'm not falling for it anymore. He either wants to be with me in a relationship, or he doesn't. THERE'S NO OTHER OPTION THIS TIME. Maybe finally I can stop wasting my time on him. And I still wonder if this all came about because I broke up with Chris. Did he see that? Did he see his chance now? Did he need to complete some conquest or something? Well, mission accomplished. Unfortunately. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't feel sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for me. I knew what I was getting into. I knew it. And it's all my fault for being put back into this situation. Sometimes, you've just gotta learn from your mistakes. And believe me, this is one lesson well received. I really hope I can believe my own words.