I just want to see your smiling face looking my way

Whoa...I did some major damage today shopping. I didn't get too much, but I probably got more than I should have. And I still want more. I can be so materialistic sometimes. Mainly it's over clothes...I just love clothes so much. You can never have too many. Except if you keep them for years and years...which I've definitely done, and I'm now trying to get rid of some of the stuff I just can't seem to part with. I've just gotta let it go...they're only clothes. Clean House has really inspired me. I'm seriously obsessed with earrings. I got two more pairs today. I have no more room for them in my earring case. Gonna have to make room though! I also really like all the scarves that you wear as belts...ok, enough about my shopping addictions. I feel so guilty sometimes afterwards...I know I really didn't need anything. This voice inside my head says that dad won't be happy, because he says how money is tight because of school and this townhouse, etc. Yet, he never has denied us anything. I guess you could call me spoiled. I know I am somewhat. I'm not the kind that is all bratty and bossy and has to get her way all the time...it's more like, if I want something (within reason, of course), I will probably be able to get it at some point. Maybe. Not always. I think I feel this way in part because I don't work, so I'm not making any income. I have money in savings, but I rarely use it, except for things that I really, really want that my parents won't buy for me (like my treadmill). But I'll be getting a job this summer because my dad won't let me not do anything this year. Hopefully it will be that internship working on Rod Smith's gubernatorial campaign that I really want (actually, I've essentially got it, but just gotta figure out the details and stuff). Wow...writing about this side of me makes me realize how shallow and materialistic and spoiled I am. I really don't consider myself that high-maintenance...a little, yeah, because I like to look nice and care about my appearance, but not so much that I get decked out and plaster my face with tons of makeup and stuff to go to class. Yeah, so this is a not-so-great part of me. But it's me being honest with myself about it. And sometimes to make changes, you've gotta come to terms with unpleasant personal characteristics. But it's definitely not easy to admit it.