it's like you're a ghost that's haunting me

I had a horrible night's sleep last night. I kept waking up and my mind was racing and I couldn't get my mind off of him. No matter how hard I tried, I kept drifting back towards him. I'm so hopeless. Why do I do this to myself? I get way too involved. I didn't mean it to happen, but it did. Every time I was with him, I found myself liking him more and more. I let my emotions control my life. And it never does me any good. It's not like I fall easily for just any guy, either. It usually ends up happening because somehow, one way or another, I find that they're interested in me, and that's where it begins. It hasn't happened very much, only a few actually, but there's no reason to name names. I just wanted it so badly. I thought that finally, this is it (I'm in no way referring that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this guy, just that I thought maybe I would finally have a chance at a relationship--at the least a boyfriend). It could have been so perfect. I'm such a dreamer. But that's really all I have--my dreams.