thoughts of you spin around my head like wheels on a car

I am so out of it right now. I can't think clearly...my brain has gone to mush. It's gotten to the point where it's no use studying anymore because my mind can't absorb any more information. I am saturated. I just can't wait until this week is over. I just want it to end and for spring break to begin. Not that it'll be a total homework-free week, because I still have a paper to due and now I've gotta figure out my schedule for next fall. I can't believe I'll be a senior and it'll be my last year of college. Wow, it's passed by so fast...yet so slow. High school seems like ages ago, yet I still don't feel like I've been in college for the past 3 years. Maybe it's because I haven't allowed myself to have the typical college experience. I'm definitely not your average college student. Although, I'm trying to not be too non-typical. I'm starting to loosen up and have more fun. It's taken me a very long time, but I'll eventually get there. I think I've decided that I'm gonna call him tomorrow night. But maybe I won't. I don't know. I can't decide because I don't know what to do. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to someone about it first, before I possibly make a really stupid mistake. But I figure, I can't make myself seem any more desperate and stupid as he's already seen (because I've said some really dumb things to him about myself, all for the sake of being more open and honest). So what's one more shot at it? Maybe he thinks I don't want to talk to him, or he's all wrapped up in school (because I've never seen a guy study more than I have, or at least be on a level on par with me). I could be too much of a distraction you know. (I wish). Boys. I swear. What I will put myself through for them.