dream of me tonight

This day seems like it's lasted forever. I'm really tired. I didn't get as much studying done as I should have. Why do I feel so guilty about it? I know I don't have to make all A's. I need to loosen up on this form of control I have over myself. I don't think I'm going to do that great on my tests. I know I feel that way because I haven't studied as much as I normally would have--which is way too much. I've probably still done way more than most people. I've just gotta tell myself it'll be okay. And it will. I hope. I just feel so overwhelmed--well, not as much as last week, but I still feel like I have a million things to do and so little time left to get things done. I'm nervous about tomorrow...about meeting him...I'm thinking that I'll ask to meet him at the restaurant, because everyone I've told (well, 2 people, plus that voice in my head) is freaking me out about meeting someone from online. Believe me, I would not even think about doing this normally, because I have a very hard time trusting people. But I don't know why exactly I'm so more willing right now...maybe it's because I know a lot of the people who have myspace accounts and it just seems more real or something. I don't know. But I definitely won't do anything I don't want to do and if I feel uncomfortable in any way at all, I'll leave or won't go through with it. But I'm thinking I'd feel more comfortable to meet him in a public place--just to be safe. That's the smart thing to do. What in the world was I thinking doing otherwise? And I'm the most paranoid person in the world--I used to sleep with 2, yes 2, pocket knives under my pillow when I was younger and would sleep with the covers pulled completely over my head! And still, I practically run to my car at night and immediately lock my doors and carry pepper spray, and check to make sure my locks at home are locked a million times, especially if I'm alone. Wow...and to think I was letting my guard down so much! (I'm definitely a victim of the news phenomenon of overreporting crime stories--if it bleeds, it leads). Anyways, I'm going to Target tomorrow to check out the cute bathing suits. It'll be a long day of classes first to get through first though.