I wish that I could be like I was before

Uh-oh. This is not good. I think I'm starting to fall for him...I know it's too soon--way too soon. I don't even know if he likes me. Or wants anything more. But I just can't seem to help myself! It seems like he might, but that's just it: things aren't always what they seem to be. And I know that fact very well, which is why I don't want to get attached. Yet. This early. Part of me is saying just go with it, let yourself fall for him. But the other (smarter) side of me is saying you're just setting yourself up for another disappointment and heartbreak. Maybe it's because I'm just liking the attention I'm getting right now. Or maybe it's because I see the potential that this could be. Stupid crushes! I just know that I can't get too involved, because I'll end up being hurt. And feeling really dumb because I know what will eventually become of this: nothing. I don't want to think so negatively, and I really am not, but it's naive to think otherwise. It's not that I want for nothing to happen, it's just that I've lost faith in believing that a guy will ever want to be in a relationship with me. And I'm even more hesitant with this guy because he's younger than me and we're in different places in our lives. I've got expectations about what I want, and I'm not settling for less. I want a relationship, and I'm not going to waste my time anymore with guys who don't want that with me. It's not asking for too much. It's simply that I know what I want now and am sticking to it. I don't want anymore hook-ups or one-night-stands. Been there, done that, moving on. I can't pretend that I'm not looking for more, because I am. I'm reading too much into this. But really, I'm not. I'm just trying to protect myself and not get caught up in my feelings. I hate having my guard up like this because it's not me at all. I'm so used to just throwing myself into a crush. But I just can't ignore past experiences, because I've learned this lesson all too well. I just really, really hope that he keeps giving me a reason to smile, because that's all I'm asking for.