This is how you remind me

Another day, another long, boring day at work. That's my life these days--work. Work, but doing nothing but sitting at a computer all day. And occasionally actually doing something interesting. Other than that, I try and find things to interest me. Mainly just browsing on the Internet, getting ideas about things that I can make and do. The problem is, I get all these great ideas that I really want to do, but then when I go home, I don't get anywhere because it means I have to be on the computer again. Plus, I only have like 2 hours between coming home from the gym, eating, taking a shower, and before you know it, it's bedtime. So I rarely get anything done then. So much wasted time. I feel guilty though for not liking my job. The environment and people are great. Where else would I be able to work and wear the clothes that I do? I love not having to get dressed up for work--at least in business attire. But I dread having to come to work. I usually get by the mornings ok, but by lunch, not only am I starving, but I absolutely have to get out of the office. This has contributed to some not-so-good habits: tanning and shopping. I'm not quitting, but I don't know how much longer I can take it. I am not challenged at all. I feel like--no, I know--I could be doing so much more with all the talents I have. But then I have to tell myself to put things in perspective. This is my first job ever, afterall, and it hasn't been even a year yet. And what the heck else would I be doing? The money is what really keeps me going for the most part. It's decent for my first job, and I kind of need it since I'm supporting myself now. But after a year, I want a raise. I'm an incredibly smart, gifted, and talented 23 year old who could be doing so much more for the minimum I'm being paid. It's just getting annoying, and I keep lashing out, especially after drinking, about how I hate working and having responsibilities. I'm too responsible--that's my problem. No time for fun. Just getting up fucking early and being so tired all day and then going to the gym and then going home and sleeping. No time for anything else. I'm too tired to do anything else at night and simply find myself just not wanting to do anything. But there's so much that I do want to do. It just sucks. Responsibility fucking sucks.