That is just so you, coming back when I've finally moved on

I have the weirdest feeling ever. It's hard to describe...it definitely has to do with being so tired. And not to mention I didn't get very much sleep after that annoying phone call from someone even more annoying and someone I thought was out of my life. Every time I look back on it, I realize I lowered my standards so much. Why did I do it? I can honestly say I am very glad that what happened, happened. Yeah, it did hurt a lot at the time, but he was no good for me at all. And I don't think I would have been with him much longer because I sure didn't feel the way he felt about me. Just get over it. Move on. So harsh, I know...and hypocritical coming from someone who's felt the same way over someone else. But whatever. Why is it always the person who you don't want that ends up doing this sort of thing??? Uh, if I want anyone to want me back, it'd be Adam...I'm not saying I would go back to him, because I WILL NOT, but you get what I'm saying. Skip is still MIA. He probably was just playing me like Ania said that time. I really hope not. My feelings are so mixed about it. Is it good or bad that I'm not really worried at this point? Because if it was Adam, I'd be freaking out. Ok, so I actually already have freaked out once before, but then he called and apologized the next day and I ended up seeing him. In a facebook message I just sent Blake, I told him about it briefly. Maybe he'll know what's up or could possibly find out. Not that I want someone to ask him for me, because that is so childish. I'm personally just afraid if I do it myself, I could completely ruin things by coming off in the wrong way, when I'm having a lot of fun with just going out with him at this point. Of course, I eventually want way more, but I want to take things slow, and I like the pace it's going. Except, I could do with seeing him maybe a bit more, or least hear from him. So, I've stopped taking my medication...hmmm, I don't know if it's a good idea or not, but I really don't want to be on them forever. I can't depend on them to make me feel good anymore, either. I don't think I need them. One reason why I've stopped is because I seriously started to feel emotionally numb, which kinda scared me. More later...found out there's a keg at Ania's!!! shower and then I'm there!